


Choosing to Swim

by schneefink



Category: The Tensorate Series - J. Y. Yang
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 20:12:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19216687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schneefink/pseuds/schneefink
Summary: Akeha and Mokoya returned to the palace together, but one day their paths will diverge.





	Choosing to Swim

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shadaras](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadaras/gifts).



> I really liked your prompts, I hope you'll enjoy the story! (I wrote it as a fix-it of sorts, but you can interpret the ending however you like.)

Akeha and Mokoya practiced floating in one of the smaller, more remote courtyards. Moving faster or jumping higher was easier through water-nature, and floating or flying using only earth-nature was considered frivolous and dangerous, especially for children. But it had been many older acolytes' favorite way to show off at the monastery, and in the few months since they'd left it had become one of the twins' favorite activities in the rare unsupervised moments that they had.

Akeha was trying to sit down cross-legged in the air – maybe they could do the meditation exercises this way, that would certainly be more interesting – when they heard someone entering the courtyard. They tried to turn around to look, but lost their balance and tumbled to the ground. Standing up, they glared at the intruder.

"There you are," Manabi said, sounding satisfied. Then he squinted. "What are you doing?"

Mokoya, who'd been slowly floating upwards while keeping one hand on the wall, untensed through earth-nature and came down quickly, barely keeping themselves from falling.

"What do you want?" Akeha asked brusquely.

Manabi was the son of a distant cousin who had become the new Minister of Culture and had arrived at the Grand High Palace a few days ago. Because of his gift with numbers, he shared a mathematics tutor with Akeha and Mokoya despite being a bit younger. He kept staring at them, and they'd mostly ignored him.

"I heard what you did," Manabi declared.

"What are you talking about?" Mokoya asked, stepping closer to their twin.

"You tried to run away!" Manabi said. "That was really stupid!"

Akeha scowled. They could feel Mokoya struggling not to flinch. Their twin still felt guilty for coming up with the plan that almost got Akeha killed, even though Akeha had told them several times that it hadn't been their fault.

"You should have known that you couldn't escape the Protectorate," Manabi continued.

"It wasn't even the Protectorate that found us," Akeha pointed out.

Manabi ignored that. "Why did you do it?"

"We didn't want to be separated," Mokoya said, sounding subdued.

"That's stupid," Manabi said. "You'll probably be separated one day anyway."

"No we won't," Akeha said through gritted teeth. They were born together, they'd stay together until they died. After all, hadn't they already successfully escaped being separated once?

Manabi looked at them as if they were slow. "You'll have to do what the Protector tells you. And my mother said the Protector does what's best for the Protectorate, with no sen-ti-men-tality," he sounded the word out carefully, "and she could send you wherever she wants."

He wasn't wrong. Akeha balled their hands into fists. Last time, Mother had ordered Mokoya to be returned to the Palace, but had left the fate of Akeha – now the spare child, the useless one – up to the Abbot, who'd decided to let them go. But if Mother had plans for both of them… Nobody would fight Mother's decisions.

No, that wasn't entirely true. When told of Mother's plans for them, Mokoya had decided that they would run away so they could stay together. Even when Akeha had become discouraged and wanted to give up, to return to the monastery and endure the separation, Mokoya had persisted. And even though the escape hadn't worked, they'd still achieved their actual goal.

Mokoya had said that they would rather die than let Akeha be taken away. What would they do the next time Mother tried to keep them apart? Most people would be watching Akeha because they blamed them for the runaway attempt, thinking that they must have made Mokoya do it because Mokoya was obviously the more favored and also the friendlier child. Mokoya would…

Mokoya was a prophet. They were extremely valuable, while Akeha was just the spare. They probably wouldn't need to do anything – Mother would most likely be willing to keep Akeha around solely to keep Mokoya happy.

The thought should be a relief, but instead Akeha felt cold. They knew, had known for a while now, that most people saw them only as "Mokoya's twin," and they were starting to get used to it. They were proud to be Mokoya's twin, they didn't enjoy being the center of attention anyway, and the one person whose opinion was important – Mokoya – was also the one who never thought that Akeha was less important. That had always been enough. But suddenly they thought of spending their entire life like this, of always being the twin of the prophet and never being recognized in their own right, and it felt so stifling that it made them gasp.

Manabi looked triumphant to have been right, and Akeha wanted to wipe the expression from his face. They reached for water-nature.

A shoulder knocking against theirs made them stop. Mokoya was standing beside them, and Akeha could feel their anger and concern.

"We will stay together," Mokoya said firmly. "I know it."

The statement by the prophet made Manabi hesitate.

"Leave," Akeha ordered, and pushed him backwards through water-nature. Manabi stumbled and glared at them, but after another look clearly thought better of continuing the confrontation and walked quickly out of the courtyard.

"It's not true," Akeha asked, turning to their twin. Mokoya didn't have many visions, and they always told them about it. None of their visions had taken place more than a few weeks in the future either.

"I didn't see it in a vision," Mokoya confirmed, "but I know it, Keha. We'll always stay together."

Akeha looked away. 'What if I want to leave?', they wondered and then immediately buried the thought.

"Keha?" _What is it?_ , Mokoya asked, but Akeha didn't answer despite their worry.

 

They tried to ignore the idea, just as they'd always managed to avoid thinking about fortunes and the future, but it wouldn't leave. Even considering one day voluntarily separating from their twin made them feel guilty, and that made them feel angry and lash out, even at Mokoya, and that made them feel guilty again.

It wasn't Mokoya's fault that they were a prophet. On the contrary, if they could, Akeha knew that Mokoya would choose not to have any visions at all. Mokoya, and increasingly their teachers too, were convinced that there was no way to change what they saw, "and then what use is it to see it at all?" Mokoya had asked one morning, after a particularly bad nightmare. They'd been crying. Akeha didn't say anything about what they both knew – even if they couldn't change the outcome, preparations and plans to change the consequences could still be made – and just held them. Mokoya needed them, so how could Akeha even contemplate leaving them? Clearly they had to stay together. After all, Akeha had promised to protect their twin from anything.

And yet the more they thought about it, the more trapped Akeha felt.

 

Mokoya put up with their bad mood for a week before confronting them. One evening they sat down on their bed and glared at their twin.

"Moko?" Akeha asked, a sinking feeling in their chest.

"What's wrong with you!" Mokoya demanded. "I know something's wrong. Tell me." _I can help,_ they sent, _I want to help,_ but there was fear beneath their words.

"Moko…"

"Is it because of what that fool Manabi said? You know I would never let Mother separate us."

"That's the problem!" Akeha burst out, and then closed their eyes and winced.

"Keha?" Mokoya asked in a small voice.

"I'm sorry."

"Keha, please…"

"It's not your fault," Akeha said quickly. "I don't want to leave you. We belong together." _But,_ they thought loudly enough for Mokoya to hear, not sure if they'd meant to.

They could feel Mokoya becoming frantic with worry. Akeha looked at the floor.

"You're the prophet, Moko. You'll always have a place and purpose. I don't know what there is for me."

"I didn't choose to be a prophet," Mokoya hissed.

"I know! I know, Moko, I'm just… I'm just scared because I don't know what I'm going to do with my life," they confessed. _And I'm scared I'll never be more than "the prophet's twin" if we always stay together._

"So you do want to leave." Mokoya's voice was flat. Without looking, Akeha knew that they were crying.

"No. Yes. Maybe, one day… I don't know!" They were barely ten – even if they left, it wouldn't be for years yet. It felt unfair that they were already fighting about it now, when it was still so far away.

Mokoya stood up abruptly, and then sat down again, clenching and unclenching their hands. "Okay," they said quietly.

Akeha's head jerked up in surprise. "Moko?"

Their twin wasn't looking at them. "Okay. You need to find out what you'll do with your life. So you can go and find out, and then you'll come back."

Akeha stilled. They'd been so occupied with the thought of leaving one day, they hadn't even gotten to the possibility of coming back.

Mokoya was nodding to themselves. "We'll make plans. We'll figure something out. Mother… we'll figure something out so Mother won't stop us. You. You'll figure out what you want to do, and hopefully it won't take long, and then you'll come back."

"Moko," Akeha whispered.

"It'll be fine. It'll be worth it, if it makes you happy." Mokoha smiled shakily, their eyes still full of tears.

Akeha stumbled over to their twin's bed, sat down next to them and reached for their hands. Mokoya resisted only for a heartbeat. _I'm so sorry,_ Akeha thought at them. _I don't want to be apart, I don't know what's wrong with me, why I need…_

_It's okay,_ their twin thought, even though it was clearly a lie. _You'll come back._ "And we'll see each other. Every few months. Promise me, Keha. We'll send messages, and meet up, so we know the other is okay. Promise."

"I promise," Akeha said.

"Good."

They sat together for a long time.


End file.
